Kakuchou suru in Japanese is the act of expanding or enlarging. In America, “extending the runway” means something similar. I spend most of my time thinking about expansion and generating positive experiences.

How do I expand relationships and my skills? It’s easy to lose ties and hard-earned skills. It’s harder to build new bridges and learn transformative skills. Experiences form the glue that sustains relationships within family, groups, culture, faith, and locations. There was a time when an enormous effort was made to gather in person. Today, that effort is dwindling. And, it seems intentional. Kids don’t need transformative travel, just expensive devices to consume them vicariously.

Much of what I do today is just a click away. Consumer technologies focus on generating experiences — whether they are uplifting or merely addictive. Corporate technologies focus on efficiency, profitability, and cost reduction. You work until you lose access. Government technologies focus on compliance, public services, and safety nets. Follow the rules and keep a good lawyer nearby to make the most of them.

I don’t see much joy in a world driven only by technology. What I have learned is that ‘kakuchou suru’ happens when effort and meaning point to experiences offline with the people you love while sharing culture and faith in physical places offering tastes, sounds, and beauty. In a world where all it takes is a cheap flight to optimize experiences, I find the ultimate arbiter of joy becomes the in-person experience.

I’ve lived in places where it’s a lot harder to experience in-person joy. That’s been a calling card to leave them behind. I lived in Orange County and Seattle for less than a year because I didn’t feel like I belonged there. I felt nonstop joy in the Bay Area until the pandemic squeezed the joy out. My first year in Japan was the worst of my life but I held on until joy found me by my third year. It’s been a mixed bag in Austin, Texas for two years. The good news is that year 3 starts now.

The secret of joy is disconnecting devices and going where you feel needed. Remote work affords this opportunity. At the same time, it’s hard to disconnect and experience the joy that only requires mind expansion.