AI can’t replace friends, new places, or time outside. We all know the basics for a long life. Eat well, exercise, and sleep. That is good advice, but it is not the whole story.

Relationships have the best evidence. A 2010 review of 148 studies covered more than 300,000 people. Those with strong social ties were 50% more likely to be alive about seven years later. The authors said that is about as good as quitting smoking. The Harvard Study of Adult Development has followed people since 1938. It found that people who were happy in their relationships at 50 were healthier at 80. Relationships predicted this better than cholesterol did.

Short chats help too. Researchers in Chicago asked people on trains, buses, and in cabs to talk to a stranger. Most thought they would not like it. They ended up enjoying the ride more than people who stayed quiet. Another study found that people felt happier on days when they talked with more acquaintances, like a barista or a neighbor. So talking to your Uber driver is probably better for you than looking at your phone.

Meeting in person beats calling or emailing. A study covered by Today looked at more than 11,000 Americans aged 50 and older. Of those who saw family and friends at least three times a week, 6.5% had signs of depression two years later. For those who met every few months or less, it was 11.3%. Calls and emails made no clear difference. I recently went to Breckenridge, Colorado with friends. It reminded me how different it feels to spend days together in person, out in the mountains.

Learning new things helps too. In one study, older adults learned several new skills at once, such as Spanish, drawing, and music composition. After three months, their memory and attention were better. In another study, researchers used GPS to track people in New York and Miami. People felt happier on days when they went to new places.

Andrew Huberman, a Stanford neuroscientist, shares a simple way to lower stress in this clip. Relax your eyes and take in more of what is around you, like when you look at a horizon. A close, narrow focus keeps the body alert. A wide view helps it calm down. Most of us stare at a small screen all day, which is the opposite.

Nature helps in other ways too. A review of the research at PositivePsychology.com lists several findings. People who walked in nature did better on a memory test than people who walked on city streets. Time outdoors lowers cortisol, the stress hormone. It also improves mood and attention. People who exercise outside enjoy it more and stick with it.

A recent New York Post article says something similar. Dr. Randy D’Amico, a neurosurgeon at Northwell Lenox Hill Hospital, lists seven daily habits that hurt the brain. Two of them fit here. One is constant distraction from phones and notifications, which he says makes it harder to focus. The other is letting your social world shrink. He notes that social isolation is a known risk factor for dementia. He also says having followers online is not the same as talking with people in person.

This is part of why I built eventcarpooling.com. When people ride to an event together, they talk, they go somewhere new, and they spend less time on their phones. A shared ride makes it easier to get out of the house.

Try one of these this week:

1. See friends and family in person. Strong relationships are linked to a longer life.
2. Talk to a stranger. Short conversations lift your mood.
3. Learn something new. It improves memory and attention.
4. Go somewhere you have never been. New places make people happier.
5. Spend time in nature. It lowers stress and helps memory.
6. Look at the horizon. A wide view calms the body.
7. Put the phone down. Constant distraction wears down focus.

I also have a question for the leadership at Apple, Google, Meta and the AI companies. Why are the algorithms making people do the opposite of what this essay says? And how can smartphones help people spend more time together in real life? I think there should be a time limit on smartphone scrolling, the same way a meeting ends on time or a yoga class ends at the end of the hour. I would like to hear their answer.

Friends, new experiences, and time outside are free. Almost anyone can have them. I think they matter as much as diet and exercise. Many doctors also prescribe IRL experiences (in real life).

[my effort to make AI 🤖 less mechanistic so it doesn’t harm us]

Sources

• Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7). doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
• Harvard Study of Adult Development, 1938 to present. adultdevelopmentstudy.org
• Epley, N., & Schroeder, J. (2014). Mistakenly seeking solitude. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 143(5). doi.org/10.1037/a0037323
• Sandstrom, G. M., & Dunn, E. W. (2014). Social interactions and well-being: the surprising power of weak ties. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 40(7). doi.org/10.1177/0146167214529799
• Today (2015). Face-to-face interaction may be a vitamin for depression, study suggests. today.com
• Leanos, S., et al. (2020). The impact of learning multiple real-world skills on cognitive abilities and functional independence in healthy older adults. The Journals of Gerontology: Series B, 75(6). doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbz084
• Heller, A. S., et al. (2020). Association between real-world experiential diversity and positive affect relates to hippocampal-striatal functional connectivity. Nature Neuroscience, 23. doi.org/10.1038/s41593-020-0636-4
• Huberman, A., on The Tim Ferriss Show (2021). How panoramic vision can reduce your stress and anxiety. youtu.be/dqCEOJSvgwA
• Chowdhury, M. R. (2019, updated 2026). The positive effects of nature on your mental wellbeing. PositivePsychology.com. positivepsychology.com
• Beard, M. (2026, October 6). I’m a neurologist: 7 everyday habits that are quietly damaging your brain. New York Post. nypost.com